Will Rogers Quotes
Quotes by Will Rogers

"No man is great if he thinks he is."

"Nothing you can't spell will ever work."

"Well, all I know is what I read in the papers."

"I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat."

"Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff."

"Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth."

"If you ever injected truth into politics you'd have no politics."

"It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts."

"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."

"Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for."

"There is only one thing that can kill the movies, and that is education."

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."

"Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock."

"The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them."

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."

"An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."

"I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."

"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."

"Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion."

"I'm not a real movie star. I still got the same wife I started out with nearly 28 years ago."

"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."

"Try to live your life so that you wouldn't be afraid to sell the family parrot to the town gossip."

"Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now if nobody is around we use our fingers."

"A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people."

"Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have."

"The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you."

"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."

"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."

"The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."

"I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one."

"The Lord so constituted everybody that no matter what color you are you require the same amount of nourishment."

"Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?"

"Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even."

"In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing."

"Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln."

Compiled by Thomas George
editor@Wisdom-of-the-Wise.com